We all love differently, and we all like to be loved differently. This started to become apparent with the release of Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages. In the book, Chapman broke these differences down into 5 universal languages.

Because we all respond to love differently, understanding how you like to be loved and how others wish to be loved can help improve the bond between you and your significant other. Without this understanding, we will often feel disconnected or notice a void in our relationships.

What Are the 5 Love Languages?

The 5 love languages have transformed how many people act and behave in their relationships — or in their search for one. When you find your significant other’s primary love language, you can better connect with them on an emotional, physical, and spiritual level. 

The 5 love languages that Chapman outlined are:

  1. Words of Affirmation – This love language is expressed through showing constant gratitude and appreciation for others. People like to know that their love and affection doesn’t go unnoticed
  2. Acts of Service – Sometimes saying you love someone isn’t enough, they want to be shown that you love them. Acts of service can help confirm your love for someone
  3. Receiving Gifts – Some people are more materialistic than others, which is fine. For some, receiving gifts is what makes them feel loved (more so than words or actions)
  4. Quality Time – Some people respond most to spending quality time with their significant other. This doesn’t involve watching TV while they talk about their day. Instead, it requires quality time with no distractions.
  5. Physical Touch – If words, actions, gifts, or time aren’t quite cutting it, then your significant other is likely lacking the physical nature of the relationship. Hold hands, embrace your hugs, kiss them when you get the chance.

One of the biggest misconceptions to this theory is that learning your own love language will help you find the right relationship. In reality, you should be more focused on learning others love language. This might involve changing your own actions or behaviors toward someone, but that’s what loving someone is all about — accepting them for who they are.

The Secret to Love That Lasts?

Although Chapman suggests that everyone has a primary love language that they speak, it doesn’t mean you should be limited to only showing your love in that one way. In fact, all 5 of the love languages are essential to keeping a healthy relationship. 

When you find that primary love language, it’s important to make that a centered focus of your relationship. If they desire words of affirmation, make sure to tell them how much you appreciate them every morning. If they respond to gifts, try to surprise them with something new every week (it doesn’t always need to be a gift that involves money). 

On the other hand, you won’t want to distance yourself from the other love languages. Just because your significant other is more susceptible to physical touch, doesn’t mean you should abandon telling them you love them, spending quality time with them, or surprising them with random acts of service. 

The 5 love languages can help strengthen your relationship for a brighter future together.